Spitting Feathers and Sneezing


Today I’ve got a cold, the sort that makes you shiver, your nose run and your head feel full of fluff and your chest rasp like it’s got sandpaper in it.  Which is nice.  When you have a job and feel ill, you take a day off don’t you.  It’s called a sick day.  A day when you snuggle under a duvet and watch crap telly, venturing into the kitchen for Lemsips every now and then.

So, I took a day off.  As you do when you’re a mum.  I didn’t get up, feed the dog, feed the kids, dress them, walk them to school, go to the bank, get shopping, walk home, unload the dishwasher, load the dishwasher, put washing on, hang washing up, wipe the sides down, plan tea, walk the dog or do anything like that.

Except I did.  With pockets stuffed with snotty tissues, I did it all.

Earlier in the week I had a casual conversation with a fellow dog walker that I’d not met before, I’d forgotten a tissue and it was cold and windy.  So when he asked me how old my dog was….I blew a snot bubble at him.  As you do. I nearly crawled into a hole and died.  So yes, I make sure I am never without tissues now.

Anyway, later I will spend another 45 minutes on the school run, cook tea, wash up tea, unload yet more washing, do the kid’s homework with them if I find time, stop them murdering each other and I will of course, down yet more paracetamol.

So, my darling Horace.  The next time you feel so poorly you can’t go into work, I’ll have a list of things you have to do regardless.  ‘It’s a good job you don’t have a job to go to then isn’t it’ he replied when I casually said that if I had a job I’d be taking a day off.

I guess this isn’t work then?  Is it a hobby?  Can I just get bored with this and say, nope, not doing the parenting thing anymore.  I’m just going to get into making jam now and sell the kids as they’re just too much like hard work and I don’t have the time.

I need to stop now.  Steam is coming out of my ears and I may be spitting feathers too.  Neither of which is an attractive look.  Plus I think I need to go find another Lemsip *sneezes and slides off chair *

“I’m going on a Lemsip hunt, going to catch a big one…..’

Please recite to the tune of ‘Going on a Bear Hunt’.

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3 responses to “Spitting Feathers and Sneezing

  1. Do sympathise, but I have to go in to work anyway and do the housey stuff before I go or when I get back. As you say, kids don’t feed themselves more the pity. Still as my beloved tells me every week – I do get the weekends off! Lucky we have cleaning, shopping, washing, ironing and homework fairies in this house!

  2. Snot bubbles!!! Hahahahaha I can imagine your embarrassment. Tell you what, in the time Ive been off work and done stuff round the house, it aint easy.

  3. pmsl……can see it now……just as well your not single and trying to flirt with fellow dog walkers to see if you could find a kindred spirit. Could you not have done what any self respecting child would do and use your sleeve?

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